Letters

Dzien dobry.....Good Morning from Poland,

Without your support I would not be here.

It's a bright, cold day at Malgosia and Andrzej’s home in Warsaw. The "expedition" to Auschwitz was, as always, deep, provoking and transforming. Our writer, Perry, could not have helped having expectations and, in the end, was left without words.....Just the way to start his journey “in the footsteps of the Buddha. His mother's side of the family, from Lublin, Poland, was lost at either Aushwitz or Majdanek.

Our first day in Warsaw included a trip to a homeless shelter for addicts and recently released prisoners in the countryside 40 km west of Warsaw. Peacemaker Polska has a project there facilitating communication, introspection and community building -through council circles. They were appreciative and asked Andrzej to return to train the balance of the residents and to also train the staff of the senior housing across the road. The senior housing director also invited him to her home to "train" her family.

That same night we drove to Oswiecim. Andrzej, Malgosia, Perry and I were joined by three young members of the Polish Zen Peacemaker Circle, another two young Peacemakers and two German Priests (one has been serving at Auschwitz for ten years), Marian Kolodziej (a survivor of five years in Auschwitz - having arrived in the first transport to the camp), his wife Halena, and Wladyslaw, our driver, and ordinary citizen, who asked to participate. We compressed the usual retreat into two days, starting with a tour of Auschwitz I, and closing the afternoon with a two and one-half hour Catholic ceremony of 14 Stations of the Cross - adapted to reflect on the prisoner experience in Birkenau (Auschwitz II). Skies were overcast and the skies drizzled most of the time. We ended the day with evening meditation in the first gas chamber of the camp. For most it was a surprisingly serene and clear experience. The author was speechless.

The second day we started with a council circle and then proceeded to the Sauna at Birkenau - the first stop for prisoners who were selected for work - where they stripped, were disinfected, had their heads shaved, were issued standard blue and white striped uniforms, given numbers and emerged nameless and shocked. The theme of the day was a Day of Reflection in the tradition of Zen Peacemaker Circles. We sat in front of a wall of family pictures of Jews, portraying family gatherings, picnics, weddings, joyful moments, life. From there we sat at the selection site between the railroad tracks in front of Crematoriums II and III and also in the Children’s Barracks. The afternoon finished with a memorial service for all of those who died at the camp, followed by some moments of silence. We were not alone.

The second night was a night with Marian, the camp survivor, who has recollected his experience after 60 years of suppression, with a shockingly amazing work of love for his comrades who did not make it out. The drawings are allegorical - maybe 70 works comprising one work of art. Each piece is a recollection of a story. He shared them willingly and beautifully. If there is an example of strength, compassion and awareness from that time - he embodies it. Still suffering in a real sense, he shares himself and his life with a passionate awareness that transmits his joy of living. Perry hopes to do a separate piece for Geographic on Marion.

Yesterday Perry left for India. He was endlessly grateful, tearful and appreciative.
The article is to be published in May 2005 - a 25 to 30 page piece.

Thank you for your great gift of love and support,
Yours,
Grover

Dearest beloved Friends and fellow Journeyers,

It's so hard to put into words how I feel after Auschwitz-Birkenau. I've been home one week and feel an oppressive weight inside. I feel so detached from my world. I haven’t talked much about Poland; it doesn’t seem to want to emerge from my depths. Yet I want to share. Where to begin?

Let me follow the council rule - TALK ONLY FROM THE HEART.

OK heart ....I feel longing. Longing for our circle of caring hearts that drew close for five wintry days under the grey skies of Auschwitz/Oswecim, which, remarkably and significantly, revealed to us the most beautiful, complete and inspiring rainbow I have ever seen, just as we entered the Birkenau death camp. After a morning spent at the Auschwitz Museum witnessing one of mankind's darkest cruelest times, we entered Birkenau - "place of the Birch trees" and Zyklon B and deaths of millions - where we would spend the next four days. Just then, we were sent a message: a rainbow, a symbol of hope, just days after we read the Chapter of Noah in the Torah reading at synagogue.

Auschwitz-Birkenau today is not a place of darkness but a place of hope. It takes darkness to reveal light. I felt in Auschwitz such a light, a grace, a promise of a better future if we remember the past, remember the cruelty that arises from hatred, from disconnecting from feeling and from caring about other human beings.

So Auschwitz for me was feeling. Feeling the pain of those murdered, torn from their lives and families. Feeling my pain, my pain as a Jew, carrying the wounds of thousands of years of hatred and persecution. I didn’t realize I had so much Jewish pain. I thought I was just angry with my father. Or the nasty girls in my bunk at summer camp.

I went to Auschwitz to go into my pain, to "plunge" into the darkness inside which I have spent a lifetime escaping. I recently discovered that I have been running from feeling. I kept myself so busy doing, "accomplishing," aspiring, regretting, projecting, thinking - that I lost myself. I operated from the throat up and lost touch with my heart, because my heart was filled with so much pain it was too frightening to really feel. So I went to Auschwitz to feel the pain. What better place to encounter pain and suffering than Auschwitz?

And I encountered the pain in my heart. And the pain, concern and love in the hearts of the other participants who came to Auschwitz for their own reasons. And I opened my heart to them. And then I was able to open my heart to God, the ultimate light.

It's been really hard to return to mundane life after Auschwitz. It's great to see the kids, the husband. I really love them. But the daily grind: the chores, the appointments, the business commitments -I feel like an automaton, doing what I need to do, but something is missing.

My open heart, that's what is missing. In Auschwitz we plunged into the pain, I entered into my broken heart and stayed there the entire retreat. I cried from my broken heart, I mourned from my broken heart, I listened from my broken heart, I understood from my broken heart, I loved, I sang and even laughed from my broken, now healing heart. For good measure I then fell on my head (for those present late Friday night).

So how do I keep my heart open when all around me are closing theirs? Adinah my holy sister has told me to turn every question, or every should statement ("I should do this or that") into a prayer, so…

May the One who created my heart give me the courage and strength to keep it open and loving even when the enviroment is less than supportive and may I always be one with my feelings and sensitive to the feelings of others.

May all you dear friends, be blessed with maintaining your open and loving hearts, and may we continue to love and support each other as we did for five wintry days in Auschwitz.

Thank you all so much for making this retreat so profound and meaningful. Thanks especially to the organizers and facilitators. I miss you all very much.

A giant hug to you all. And thank you all for your thoughtful emails and wonderful stories.

Lots of love,

GENINE

Thank you both (and all the staff) for a wonderful retreat experience. We
greatly appreciated the loving container of the retreat, especially
appreciated and contrasted as we continued to travel in Poland and Ukraine
after the retreat without that container, exploring the holocaust experience
of Miriam's family.

We hope to return to this retreat next year... if the retreat unfolds next
year exactly as it did this year, it would be wonderful! Please accept my
deep appreciation and thanks for all your uplifted and heartfelt efforts.

All the best!
Jake Lorfing

Pictures

Auschwitz Retreat gallery

Video

"RABBI OHAD" - download free sample of documentary film by Michał Bukojemski
a DIGITAL - FILM production©2004
(8,77Mb)

world distribution:
digitfilm@wp.pl
tel/fax: +48 22 628 01 94

First download program (5,5Mb) DiviXPro51GAINBundle

A film maker Michal Bukojemski, who produced "Rabi Ohad" documentary is now ready with his big production of five Auschwitz films. They were showed in a many European /even Israeli/ TV channels during the recent anniversaries of the camps liberation.

The films are made on DVD-Video, no zone limits ( but TV system PAL.) Can be played on all computers in the world equipped with DVD drive.

That DVD is distributed by the Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum in Oświęcim and may be purchased via the Internet at: www.auschwitz.org.pl Direct link to the book store: www.jewish-booshop.com

More info about film "Z KRONIKI AUSCHWITZ" - "FROM THE AUSCHWITZ CHRONICLES"
Michal Bukojemski >>>

Bearing Witness at Auschwitz-Birkenau

RETREAT EVALUATION

Below, please find the evaluation form for the retreat. Your feedback about the retreat is very important to us and we will use it to prepare future retreats. We will have a box for the evaluations in the dining room. Please take time to complete the evaluation and put it in the box BEFORE YOU LEAVE the retreat. If after the retreat, you want to reflect and write more, please mail or email your thoughts to the address heading the letter from your packet:
Polish Peacemaker Community, Andrzej B. Krajewski, Husarii 32, 02951 Warszawa, Poland
andrzej@peacemakercircle.org

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